Memoirs

The ‘Aishwarya Rai’ Smile

anusha.pali — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 19:03:26 +0000

One sight that can send jitters down my spine even in the most cheerful moods, is sitting in that dentist chair at an uncomfortable 45 degree incline with my mouth wide open. How much ever I dread visiting a dentist, I am always taken for it, almost invariably in my every holiday visit back home. Usually in a 1 week holiday visit at home, it would be a 1 or 2 visits at the dentist for fixing up a new cavity or something. But this time since my graduation was over and I was at home for at least a month the dental visit had to proportioned accordingly, it had to be something BIG…..something more than a mere cavity fix….So there it was…This time I had to get braces fixed up, visit an orthodontist….Braces at the age of 22!!

Now, as to how this idea of getting braces done propped up suddenly? Well, I’ll not hesitate at all in giving full credit for this to my dentist’s proficient SALES AND MARKETING skills.

Once while fixing up a cavity she very conveniently remarked,

“The irregular shape of your teeth makes them very prone to cavities…You should get them in shape, that will drastically reduce the number of cavities in future”

and “yeah…It will also give you that perfect Aishwarya Rai Smile” .

Now Obviously the former caught my mothers attention and the ‘Aishwarya Rai’ part caught mine. That’s precisely how my parents and I fell for this whole braces thingie…

So on the D-Day I entered the clinic and “Wowww!!!” What a warm smile on her face. She greeted me with the kindest possible look and with such genuine polite gestures…. I wonder does she give such a warm welcome to every single patient on their first visit or is it just a more civilized and polite way of saying “Welcome to Hell”

Or rather, she thinks that a polite welcome compensates for the wicked ways in which she twists and turns my teeth later on. Whatever it was, it was just a polite beginning to an absolutely nerve wrecking procedure.

She started off with “Keep your mouth wide open” and the very next moment she had prised my jaws apart. She started operating on my teeth like a construction site…..Hammering, drilling, fixing up wires and metal rings….

And my Civil Engineering aptitude could picture nothing but some reinforced steel bars trying to forcibly erect 32 buildings and suddenly, all the math calculations done by the engineer goes wrong…completely haywire… everything collapses and ……………

The dentist is standing with all my 32 teeth in her hand……

I am shaken up from my deep trance, I open my eyes in panic, take my hands to my mouth and Ohh, Thank God!!! My teeth are still in place…..
That is when I remembered those famous lines by Ogden Nash, ’some tortures are mental….some are physical but the one that is both is DENTAL…..’

Also, another important conclusion that I drew at an early stage of my treatment was that DO NOT BELIEVE the dentist when she says “It’ll just hurt a little”, for every time she says this, it gets deadlier.
Well, when not even a single way was left to further twist, turn or hammer my teeth she said, “That’s it. I’m done”

“Ohh Thank God!!”…..And just when I started recollecting the names of all Hindu Gods and Goddesses and gave a heavy sigh of relief…..the relief that its finally over now and it was ONLY this once……

she said “You’ll have to visit me every month for the next 1 year to get them fixed time and again”

It is then, that the true gross picture of this whole orthodental treatment dawned upon me and I felt like screaming….screaming out loud “NO NO..I don’t want that perfect Aishwarya Rai Smile….please God save me!!!” But by then it was too late…..Just too late to go back, for I was deep into that viscous trap prudently woven by my very own dentist….

The 30th of May’09

anusha.pali — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 07:55:47 +0000

It all started to end so suddenly….One by one the taxis halted near the GH hall office…. Everyone seemed so busy getting the permission letters signed or getting the luggage down from the top most floor of the farthest wing….and when all the last minute packing and thereafter stuffing up luggage in the taxi was done….The feeling started to sink…The “goodbye” moment that we all had been dreading…trying to escape from it by keeping ourselves busy to the last minute….But it eventually came ….Rashie left in a complete hustle bustle….and just moments later sniggy-piggy started to leave…………….tears drained out involuntarily.. hugged her tightly wondering how much time will have passed before we get to hug each other again….Till yesterday we were all singing and dancing our hearts out…pulling each others leg…having a joyous time teasing a “few” who had left the D-club …everything was so perfect and, parting or leaving IIT Kanpur was the last thing on our minds…..We always knew it was coming…But it just never sinked in till that day…The 30th of May’09…..Sniggy-piggy left ….followed by kittu…garg….Kashyap….pinchi… anshu… and till 31st morning Nisha n me were alone thinking ‘Why did we have to be the last ones to leave…having to face the ordeal again n again n again….’

The parting became an ordeal only because the four years spent at IITK with such fabulous friends have been soooooooooooo wonderful…. have got so used to each others presence that its hard to imagine life without them around…seeking suggestions for almost everything…right from “what to wear for the party tonight “ to “what to do and what not to do in life”……. Those bulla and tulla night outs…. It’s been incredible to know each other inside out…everyone’s peculiar idiosyncrasies…. making fun of them…laughing our hearts out at almost anything and everything… and yea…sharing and solving each others problems as if they were our own… Not to forget the innumerable lingos : “Kittupana” “meuaauuuuuuu” “kuuuuuuuuu” “chalo saathiyon” “lets talk about nuclear deal” “kauwapana” “nisha types khola” “anshu’s gandhigiri: utho na..uthte kyun nahi ho..tumne hi toh bola tha” “kittu’s bas 2 min aur” “ bhak!!” “dusht” aaahhh… the list is endlesssssssssssss… will just end this with a few lines that seem just perfect to describe our invaluable friendship :
You’re…
My Friend,
my companion,
through good times and bad
my friend, my buddy,
through happy and sad,
beside me you stand,
beside me you walk,
you’re there to listen,
you’re there to talk,
with happiness, with smiles,
with pain and tears,
I know YOU’LL BE THERE,
THROUGHOUT THE YEARS!

The Prison Break Stunt

anusha.pali — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 07:31:51 +0000

It had been almost half an hour standing in an interminable line….and we had not even moved an inch ahead ….Even the ‘gals quota’ (that has helped us so much in such tough times :P) wasn’t working……Atif just got finished with his first song for the evening and we were still in the queue, waiting to get in…..dying to get his glimpse and enjoy the live concert by getting in the convo grounds…So, we started contemplating on ways to get inside….Bribing…..Wheedling…begging…shedding crocodile tears in front of some security in charge….and what not did we think of!! But in the end, the three ardent followers of prison break (or rather Scofield :D) could settle with nothing but jumping over the barbed wires (the PB style :D) through the back side of the audi.
Kittu was the first one to jump over it successfully, Nisha followed her…and now it was my turn..Just when I was standing on the barbed wires ready to jump on the other side, we heard a loud angry voice “NO….STOP…DON’T!!!”….”Stay where u r”……and we saw the figure of a man approaching us at a good speed…At that very moment, the three of us shared a look of mutual understanding….and started running towards the main grounds to disappear into the crowd….just 30 metres away from getting lost in the crowd, we bumped into a professor who was also the security official incharge of the show. Pretty confident that we can talk it out with an IITK professor and wheedle him into allowing us in the concert since we were “IIT Kanpur students”.
Prof: What’s going on?? Where are you people heading?? Do you think we are fools to be standing here, managing this chaos and asking everyone to wait in the queue for their turn…Or is that you consider yourselves too smart to stand in the crowd and wait for your turn….
We thought that probably the prof is unaware of the fact that we are IITK students and hence he is scolding us so badly….So, we thought of telling him the same, targeting his soft corner for IITK and hence the bias, so that he’ll allow us in :D)
We: Ohh sir….We are sorry!! But we are IITK students…
Prof: Which year?
We giggled, happy to see that he is falling in our trap….
We: Sir, third year 
Prof: (his voice suddenly rises to a very uncomfortable level) Third year, IITK students!! You should be ashamed of yourself! This is the image you are portraying amidst so many other college students, that we IITK people believe in breaking our own rules!! This is utterly shameful!!
We :O :O :O
Not knowing what to say next we started off with an incessant use of the word “SORRY”……Absolutely indifferently we were kicked out of the audi by him!!!
After some 10 minutes, just outside the gate, when the three of us were admiring the prof’s sincerity and his unbiased commitment to his job, my phone rang…One of my friend calls up to say that “the prof has had mercy on u ppl and wants to take you in…come in through the back door QUIETLY…”
And there we were….in the first row next to the stage staring and screaming in Atif’s concert….Who says ‘Fraud’ is a word in IITK associated with ONLY students ……….. After all the “IIT Kanpur” bias worked…

Our Appu– the world class gourmand

anusha.pali — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 16:54:34 +0000

In the last four years, we have heard a lot, of people bunking their morning classes for having breakfast…and sometimes also of people like Kittu, who get up at 8:30 for a 9:00A.M. class…. are in the mess by 8:40…and still miss the 9:00 A.M. class…. Why? becoz they liked the breakfast way too much… and needed more thn half an hour 2 complete it…Such people have clear cut priorities..food before acads at any cost…
n thn thrs the maggu set of ppl..who definitely keep acads before food n stuff….
But All this while m sure u must not have heard of ppl prioritizing acads n foods, both of thm, at par…. Here’s one great example…Our very own garg aka appu, goes for the 8:00 A.M. BPC class…..We (Nisha n me) r late… we reach the lecture hall complex at 8:15 A.M. n we find her unlocking her cycle… So, here’s the conversation that follows:

We: Hey, how cum you got so late…you left from the hostel at 5 minutes to 8
Appu: Ohh..No No…i was in the class for the last 15minutes…but then i realized m feeling too hungry…can’t concentrate on the lecture when thrs idli waiting for me in the mess
We: Ahh..so you are bunking the class for having breakfast..Great.. go ahead..
Appu: Who said m bunking the lecture…cummon…m just going for the breakfast…I’ll be back in another 10-15 mins to attend the remaining lecture….
We–> :O :O ..speechless…
n I hope u r not thinking tht she was kidding…Naa..She was damn serious..She actually did return at 8:35 to attend the “remaining lecture”…

All Hail Appu!!!!